Whether you have 1, 2 or 5 kids, I think we can all agree that finding balance amongst the chaos is Nobel Peace Prize worthy. When you think you’ve finally figured a kid out, they decide to pull a 180 and have you spinning in circles all over again.
Tasks that most days are a breeze, like oatmeal for everyone for breakfast, quickly shift when someone demands waffles and nothing else. Or a set bed or nap time at 730pm that you look forward to all day and your child decides, nope, it’s time to run around naked with a skirt tied to my neck like a superhero.
You’re not alone, I promise.
Whether you’ve got it all figured out (I call your bullshit if you say you do. P.s if you do exist, email me I have questions), or if you’re a new/new again mom getting grips on the reigns, we’re all in the same damn boat.
The truth is our kids, while somewhat constant like a season, are just as unpredictable as the weather each day during that season. It’s not easy, I don’t care what your favorite IG mom blogger posts. So I figured I may as well share some of my tips and advice I’ve picked up along the way through experience or from other trusted moms that have made my days much easier and less stressful. It isn’t much, but it has made a world of a difference. If you have some of your own that you don’t see, please comment below or send me an email so I can share. Don’t be greedy, share your secrets, we want calm in the chaos just like you.
- Be flexible. It’s ok to have a schedule and a routine, but they’re still kids, growing and changing.
- Accept that each child is different, what works for one child may not work for the other, don’t force two completely different children to always do the same thing. Use their differences as a strength rather than let it drive you crazy. Try to keep them occupied with different activities, assigning different tasks or 1 on 1 time.
- Compromise when you can, it’s easier than stressing sometimes.
- Listen to your child and pay attention. They will show you signs of what works for them and what doesn’t. They’re not gonna just say at 18months “Mom, I’m not ready to go to bed at 8” but if you’re child/ren are fighting bedtime EVERY night at 8, but crash at 830/9 then let them stay up! Add a new bedtime routine that keeps them quiet and relaxed before bed rather than spend that time fussing or listening to them scream.
- Ask for advice, but don’t take it to heart, tweak and adapt to fit your family.
- DON’T COMPARE. Your family is not your sisters family, your best friends family. It is yours and just as unique as you. So don’t freak out when Susan’s kids go to bed every night at 630pm and you can barely get yours to put their pajamas on at 8pm. (bedtime/naptime is probably one of the hardest but common challenges of parenthood I’ve discovered–thus far at least)
- DON’T COMPARE. Had to say this again. It’s ok to look at IG and others for inspiration, but STOP COMPARING. If your kids ate, pooped, peed, laughed, and had some water today you’re doing just fine!
- Some days are just going to suck and that’s ok. Head into the next ready to kill it.
- Ask for a break when you need one and don’t feel guilty about it. Your village should understand, and if they don’t, it’s time to re-evaluate your village and what you need from your village.
What advice or tips do you have for other moms who may need a pick me up? We aren’t alone. It takes a village, so find your circle, share what’s working and what’s not. Just remember, no mom is perfect, no mom has it ALL figured out. You aren’t alone.